The love of God is enough to heal and fuel me with a burning passion in pressing on with the faith and good works that the Lord has started. (He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Psalm 147:3)
When I was a kid, I used to think that preachers were the most insensible people in the face of the planet, for they keep on telling people about the Bible virtues starting from the way we should dress down to the way we should talk, it’s like “Oh! Come on, give me a break, I can’t breathe with such anti- social rules”. But 26 years after I was saved by the grace of God, I felt the shame of my attitude, for now I know that such attitude is not pleasing to our Heavenly Father.
I’ve been enjoying sin for almost 26 years, not caring about the word of God in the Bible, pursuing my own way as a rebel daughter of the Most High God, thinking that by leaning on my own understanding and strength, I can reach my “self- centered carnal dreams”. So for 26 years, I suffered all the failures that life can offer to someone, I’ve swam the deepest darkness of sin, and I fought the battle alone without the presence of God. And up until now, even though I know that the Lord have forgiven me from all my sin, including the “grievous secret sin” that only I and the Lord knew, still I feel that I am the chief of all the sinners , the lowest among the saints who keeps on begging at the front gate of heaven for God’s grace and mercy every millisecond of my earthly life, and I bet I’ll never stop begging for His grace and mercy until I see the Lord Jesus Christ in His glorious appearing when He finally comes for the second time around, for I know that apart from His mercy and grace, I cannot continue to fight a good fight of faith. Well maybe one day, I love to engrave this verse in my grave stone, the way it was engraved to my mother:
“ I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: “ 2 Timothy 4:7”
That very powerful and humbling verse came from Apostle Paul, who like me considered Himself as the chief of all the sinners.
“This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.” 1 Timothy 1:15.”
And I guess, I’ve finally understood what it means about the parables of the kingdom in Matthew 13: 44, wherein it was described that when a man have finally found the heavenly kingdom, He selleth everything that he hath. The parable is telling me that, God is simply like a hidden treasure who is worthy of our all, who’s worth is more than the treasure of the universe, for He is God, He made all things, and in Him all things exist, and how blessed I am that God have found me, and God revealed Himself to me, like a hidden treasure, and I just can’t afford to lose sight of Him anymore, hence, I will simply give unto Him my “LIFE”, for apart from Christ, there is no life, the salvation from Christ is simply my “TREASURE”, and no matter what I do, I can’t afford to buy salvation, nor you can afford it, but rather, I will simply offer my life as a living sacrifice, partaking in the suffering of Christ by living a Biblical definition of a Christian life.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field. Matthew 13:44”
Right now, I feel the amazement of God’s transforming power in my life, for renewing my mind, being now conformed to the mind and heart of His Son the Lord Jesus Christ, striving to pleased the Father at all cost. And if there is one prayer that I have right now? That is to have the mind of Christ by reading His words in the Bible, and be transformed to His image and likeness, for in Him, the Father is well pleased because of His complete obedience, to the point of obeying death on the cross, the spotless lamb without blemished died for you and me, hence I desire to have His heart and mind, for that is what the Bible taught me, to be conformed in Christ’s image and likeness as an obedient Begotten Son of God.
“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16”
And again, like Apostle Paul, right now, I am motivated to have that “crown of righteousness” (2 Timothy 4: 8) by obeying the Lord’s truth in His scripture, by striving hard to walk in holiness by separating myself from sin, from the lust of this world, separating myself from the carnality of the flesh, because this is the will of the Father to every genuine Christian, a life that is free from “sin”.
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:16”
“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. Galatians 5:24”
Whenever I think of my “GRIEVOUS SIN”, I just can’t imagine a single valid reason on why Christ have to die for humanity, but the Bible taught me that God is a righteous judge, He knows that we are sinners, therefore for us to be justified, He sent His only Begotten Son and be washed by His blood, and again, whenever I think of how great a sinner I was, a wretch that I am? All I could think of is the shame and unworthiness of God’s love for me, the love that blinded my eyes to the deceiving beauty of the carnal world and leads my sight to the true beauty of God’s holiness, and I feel excited to see how stunning the Lord Jesus Christ is in His righteous robe (coz I used to see Him with his rugged robe in the movie, but please don’t worship idols and graven images for God is a jealous God) and how glorious He is while sitting on His throne.
Indeed He is worthy to be crowned with many crown, He is worthy of our praises, He is worthy to be called as “KING OF KING AND LORD OF LORD”, for that is what He is, a “King and Lord, a “GOD””. And to be honest? I’ll be weeping for the souls who will be thrown to the lake of fire someday because of their own disobedience to the will of the Father, for disobeying the truth in the Bible, for I know that they will envy us the saints who will be enjoying an eternal life while they shout for the mercy of God while enduring His wrath in hell for eternity, in hell where weeping and gnashing of teeth is forever.
I just simply thank God for revealing Himself to me, although I know that marching as a soldier of Christian faith requires diligence in knowing God more and more each day through prayer and Bible reading, but I guess I just have to say this to myself, “WELCOME TO THE CHRISTIAN LIFE,MARCH ON SOLDIER OF GOD”.
Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war
With the cross of Jesus going on before
Onward then, ye people, join our happy throng
Blend with ours your voices in a triumph song
Christ, the Royal Master, leads against the foe
Forward into battle, see His banners go, oh
Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war
With the cross of Jesus going on before
Crowns and thrones may perish, kingdoms rise and wane
But the cross of Jesus constant will remain –Sabine Baring-Gould
I know that there will be more spiritual battle to come, and more wounds to endure, but I have with me the God of Israel, the God of the gentiles, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the one true living God who died for us on the cross of the Calvary, and one day, I will tremble before His presence as I will be judge according to my deeds, but I never doubt that His love is greater than my sin, the love that saved me from being lost, and now I am found, I know I am the apple of His eye, I know I am taken good care of under His wings.
“Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,” Psalm 17:8”
Indeed amazing is His grace that saved a wretch like me.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me….
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.
T’was Grace that taught…
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear…
the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares…
we have already come.
T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
and Grace will lead us home.-John Newton
I would love to end this blog by sharing this beautiful prayer by King Solomon:
“And he said, LORD God of Israel, there is no God like thee, in heaven above, or on earth beneath, who keepest covenant and mercy with thy servants that walk before thee with all their heart:” 1 Kings 8:23”
The Lord God is faithful to fight for those who truly believed in Him, to those who truly mourn for their sin, for those who truly know the presence of the one true God in the Bible, God will fight for you and me… “HIS BELOVED SAINTS”, just like how he fought for the Israelites with His “Almighty Power”.
“”The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” Exodus 14:14”
GOD IS FAITHFUL
(Paul Washer’s Powerful Testimony)